There is no pain you're receding. A distant ship smoke on the horizon. You're only coming through in waves, your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying. When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse. Out of the corner of my eye, I turned to look but it was gone. I cannot put my finger on it now, the child is grown, the dream is gone..

Friday, December 09, 2011

Confessions of an Insomniac!

First of all, let me inform those few people who read my blogs, that I can be the worst person when it comes to sleeping. Yep, there are a very few people in my little world who can beat me to it! I mean it. These are the things that I am best at! Eating and sleeping are my life! :P. So, now let me tell you all, something about insomnia. Okay, as if no-one knows that insomnia is prolonged sleeplessness! eyes rolling! No, what I am talking about is "my insomnia", how crazy I actually went, and what really I did! I will confess everything that I did, even though it sounds insane to the ultimate level!

takes a deep breath in..

Well, to be honest, I was a bit of a retard when it came to this topic. When I was in standard 10, we had a chapter in English about a dog named Miko who could not sleep for nights together. The crazy part is, I was fascinated by this so-called thing insomnia! Yeah! I was quite enthusiastic over it. Go on, laugh at me! I then had a fantasy, locked somewhere deep in my sub-conscious mind, (I am not talking about Inception! :P), that what if I cannot sleep? What if I suffer from insomnia? Wouldn't that be so awesome?? Yes, I was this stupid! embarrassed.

Now let's not get caught up in the reverie of those two years! :D I had long stopped thinking about insomnia and that dog who suffered. (Honestly, I never thought of that dog!:P) It was just a few days back, when it was the submissions-of-assignments time at my college. It's a thankless task, but that's what we get the marks for. What an uncool education system! sighs sadly. Getting back to the point, I was pressurized from all the sides and my whistle was just about to go off! That did not improve the state of my mind. I was under a lot of stress, anxiety and burden because of my upcoming exams. 

Then it all began, on that dreadful night. 

Night 1-
              It was 2:00 a.m., and my eyes were still wide open, like a ghost searching for someone to feast upon! I never had even the slightest notion, that my 5-day insomnia was on it's way. I tell you; I neither felt like Enrique Iglesias when he composed his album Insomniac, nor like Edward Norton when he played Tyler Durden! It was something so irritating, and it bothered me with every passing minute, reminding me that I could not sleep! So, I did not even try to turn on the lights and start studying, because I saw my two other room-partners fast asleep. The first night passed away in silence and a hope, that I would sleep the next day. Little did I know, my hopes were as useless as people's hopes for removing corruption! :P

Night 2-
              Well, tonight I really expected to get some sleep, because it had been a tiring day. I was wrong. Again, I was up all night like an owl. I did everything that a normal person would do to try and get some sleep. I listened to music for almost 4 hours, I finished up my novel, I gulped down half the bottle of a strong cough syrup (it contained alcohol! *devil's smile*), and then what?! I was still the same. Eyes wide open! So, I started playing "Angry Birds-Seasons". I lost the track of time, and cleared all the stages of that game by dawn. Clearly, I was more pissed off than those angry birds! I think it was just the 5th time in my life, that I was awake before the sunrise! :P

Night 3-
              This time I tried doing something new, for inviting sleep. I imagined myself as an actor/director of an action-thriller film, and started weaving a story in my mind. I even invented some dialogues; and to be honest, I even practiced saying them like Brad Pitt! :D! I did this till 4:00 a.m., and then I decided to text all my close friends; about my insomnia problem. After I was done with it, one of my friends actually messaged me back! We then talked for next two hours on the phone; and God, was I actually feeling relieved?! No, not so relieved that I could sleep, still! :O

Night 4-
              Okay, now this is getting really boring and monotonous as it proceeds! But by this time, I was getting totally driven to lunacy. I took out my frustration on every single person who called me, or behaved so strangely that ultimately they hung up. I yelled at random people who irritated me even a bit. I was getting nowhere. I felt like I was overwhelmed by it, possessed like a devil. I needed sleep. I craved for sleep. I envied all of my friends who were peacefully sleeping like small babies in little cradles! Yes, I felt THIS jealous! That night, I adopted one of the oldest, rotten, unforgotten and yet, the most idiotic method to sleep. I tried counting SHEEP! It was the last ace up my sleeve. Surprisingly,  I did not give up until I had counted 216 of those stupid, white, leaping-over-the-fence, little legged moronic creatures! 
Still, I was miles away from my snooze. :|

Night 5-
             By this time I had gone totally wacky. My eyes had stopped forming tears, becoming puffy and swollen to top it all. I could not bear light and I rarely blinked. I was transforming into an irrational maniac. I started doing more absurd things that night. Standing in the little so-called balcony, I saw a pigeon sleeping at around 4:30 a.m. I screamed at the pigeon and started abusing it. Yes, I was this psyched out! I blamed everything around me for my sleeplessness. My headaches had increased and I felt like someone had put a hot plate iron on my head. Every second there was a feeling of being hammered into a small ball. I had had enough. 
The following day finally stopped it all. I got a call from someone. <3! Someone most special. Someone, whom I had been fighting with, for the past 3 days. We talked and we apologized each other. The conversation lasted for about 30 minutes, but those 30 minutes were the most pain-relieving moments of my life as far as I remember. It felt so good, so complete deep inside me... as if all my anxiety and stress had evaporated quicker than kerosene! (okay, bad example.)That night, I ate in peace, smiled in peace and yes; at last, I slept in peace. Lasting  15 hours, it was my deepest sleep ever! I slept like an infant..

Insomnia was, after all, settled. It went away as quickly as it had come. I finally heaved a huge sigh of relief. 

A piece of advice, to all those people who think that insomnia is cool, it's NOT! Don't even think about it! It's no less than banging-the-head-on-a-wall thing! I hope I have bidden adieu to insomnia! 

Till the next time I confess something and screw your minds,
Au revoir! 


  1. Ask me about insomnia.. it sucks! Been through it and i hate it..especially when nothing works.. and I did the sheep thing too once .. :P hahah but you yelled at the kabootar...sheeesss bad bwoy :P ..

    Ye special logo ka dose is something special nahi! Gets your sleep back! :D

  2. @Confused Soul: I had to yell at that pigeon! I was so annoyed at that time, thinking that "even a thing as stupid as this is sleeping, then what's wrong with me?!" :P :D

    And yes, the someone-special thing, it worked like a miracle! <3

  3. I guess it was tht fight wich was sub consciously not allowing you to sleep. Happens with me everytime I fight.
    Poor pigeon! And cough syrup trick..epic! Heh

  4. @Red Handed: Yeah, sometimes the sub-conscious does things that's out of our scope to understand! And, don't pity the pigeon; they are the worst creatures to walk the earth. Correction, fly in the sky! :P

  5. Nothing in this world beats a good night's rest. It really is like you wake up a different person, lighter and energized. I can only imagine the horror you went through those five days. But hey! You got an interesting blog post out of it. :P

  6. @Storyteller,Bard,Cloud Dweller: Thanks a lot! I am glad that you liked the post.! And when I look back to those five days, well; I always hope it never happens again.! :)